"Ye cannot in your present state understand eternity..."

"...But ye can get some likeness of it if ye say that both good and evil, when they are full grown, become retrospective. Not only this valley but all this earthly past will have been Heaven to those who are saved. Not only the twilight in that town, but all their life on earth too, will then be seen by the damned to have been Hell. That is what mortals misunderstand. They say of some temporal suffering, 'No future bliss can make up for it,' not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory. And of some sinful pleasure they say 'Let me but have this and I'll take the consequences': little dreaming how damnation will spread back and back into their past and contaminate the pleasure of the sin. Both processes begin even before death. The good man's past begins to change so that his forgiven sins and remembered sorrows take on the quality of Heaven: the bad man's past already conforms to his badness and is filled only with dreariness. And that is why, at the end of all things, when the sun rises here and the twilight turns to blackness down there, the Blessed will say, 'We have never lived anywhere except in Heaven,' and the Lost, 'We were always in Hell.' And both will speak truly."

[[C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce]]

Obviously, I'm not quite yet asleep, but I came across this passage, which is one of my favorites in all of Christian literature. Just think about it. If you're confused, just read the book (it's pretty short). 'Night (again). :)

Of Get-togethers and Wasted Days

The past couple days have been kind of crazy... here's why:

Yesterday, I went grocery shopping for my mom, grabbed lunch with my brother (we walked to and from the local Chipotle), and then came home to clean up for dinner with the girls.

We got dressed up (some more than others - I being one of the "some") which was fun. We were going to go downtown to grab some grub at Rock Bottom Brewery, but everything was pretty well packed out, so we wound up at California Pizza Kitchen near the mall, which was good too.

It was good to get to see the girls. I miss our time together every week, but I wouldn't trade my current life for the one I lived in high school. I got to see Hannah and her husband, Daniel, who joined us for dinner.

And Lauren is now engaged, which is cool, but kind of sad... 'cause soon enough, I might very well find myself the crazy old spinster woman who throws cats at small children. :)

It's just weird, I guess... we were always the small group of girls who didn't date, who didn't want to date, and thought of marriage as being a million lightyears away, and now, several have guys, one is married, one is getting married... I just feel old or something and the odd one out.

So... I was out late last night and came home to sleep (which I actually did when I finally got ready for bed around 2:30 - yay!) and then I woke up to an extraordinary amount of pain and my dad telling me that the air conditioning is broken.

I spent my afternoon waiting for medication to work its way through my system when I had originally planned to just sit with my Bible for an extended period of time.

The best-laid plans of mice and men... oft times go awry.

Once I finally felt better, Laura called ('cause she got off from work) and we ventured out to find something to do, asking ourselves, "What do people do on a Saturday night?" Because, you see, we have no idea. We're not normal. We go to church and hang out playing board games on Saturday nights... and when you don't have a church to go to or your friends to play board games with... you get us wondering what the heck normal people do on a Saturday night.

As a result, we went to VI, where we ate dinner (because I was finally hungry and Laura had only eaten mashed potatoes). We then tried to see a movie, but all that was left were late showings, so we decided against it and we went to Wal-Mart.

Now... you have to understand that I haven't been to Wal-Mart without a shopping list for my mom in... a very long time, so we wandered around the store and looked at stuff 'cause we're weird like that. I got a Hershey bar, though... which made the trip well worth it. :)

And now, I'm back at home and I am actually tired enough that I might fall asleep. Amazing, huh?

Hopefully I'll get some rest and not sleep through my alarm in the morning. That would be great.

And, since Laura is working, I might be able to do what I had planned for today, tomorrow. That would be great, too.

That, and if my typing skills would improve... they're kind of bad right now. Must be the drugs. 'Night.

Mood: Ready for Sleep Listening to: Mae, The Everglow
Reading:C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce

Keeping

I have never been in want or need;
I have never had lack of anything;
I have seen my share of castles and kings -
How empty it all seems!

I have walked barefoot along the shore;
I have known a home where I am loved and warm;
I have never lived through famine or war -
My hands are clean.

For my blessing, it keeps me,
and it keeps me from knowing
how my brothers live everyday.
And my blessing, it keeps me -
it keeps me from showing
love for my sisters this day.

I have watched the eyes of a child
as they light up with the wildest of smiles,
as she climbs over deep mattress piles -
talking in letters like sand.

And I have seen a young girl's hand,
outstretched with the fruit of the land,
giving me all that she has -
How foreign I am!

For her blessing, it keeps her,
and it keeps her from knowing
the dissatisfaction I find everyday.
And her blessing, it keeps her -
it keeps her showing
that we can give it all away.

What blessing in nothing!
The distractions are few -
You bring us to focus solely on You.

For Your blessing, it keeps us,
and it keeps us from knowing
what You suffered for our every day.
And Your blessing, it keeps us -
it keeps us showing
Your love and Your saving grace.

©2005 Alyssa Kate Grinstead

Rain, Chemicals, TMNT and Napoleon

I woke up at nine o' clock this morning and laid in bed for three hours listening to the rain (because I had nothing urgent to be doing). It's pretty rare that you wake up to rain in Colorado, although I am sure that if you lived somewhere like Seattle, it would be a more common occurrence... If I lived in Seattle, I would never get anything done because I would just lie in bed all day listening to the rain.

When I finally did get up, I proceeded to try to finish cleaning the house (which I do every other week). The chemicals were really strong today because the air is muggy so it holds more chemically stuff. I managed to get everything done but the showers before I ran out of cleaning supplies, which I have to go out and get tomorrow to finish the cleaning process.

Tonight, however, I actually left the house (I know, *gasp*!) and went to a barbecue to welcome the new leader for the college group here at my parents' church. He's a pretty cool guy... totally not what I expected, but that's cool. The burgers were excellent, as were the movie choices...

Movie #1: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Original Movie. Nice. Classic.

Movie #2: Napoleon Dynamite. It's been quite a while since I last saw this, so it was great. Skills galore. My brother watched it last night, too... and he was quite amusing because he got the biggest kick out of it. Go figure. :)

All in all, it was fun, despite the fact that I really don't fit in very well with the college group here anymore. It's kind of sad, but it really just makes me want to be in Fort Collins even more.

I am currently listening to a shuffle on my computer because I'm too lazy to get up and put in a CD.

My mom is doing her continuing education (for her pharmacy license) and she's studying some sleep disorder which she claims is her diagnosis for what I have (and she's usually right). It's a condition where your sleep cycle actually shifts 3-6 hours periodically for no apparent reason, causing you to be extra-sleepy when you are awake, even if you sleep well during your shifted sleep cycle... Yeah, it definitely sounds like whatever I've got. I'm so ready to have something to force me out of bed (like classes to go to) so that I can hopefully shift back and not be so tired anymore.

That would be awesome...

Anyway... I get to go shopping tomorrow, clean showers, go to the rec center, clean up and go catch up with the girls at dinner, which I'm stoked about. The opportunity to have (almost) everyone together is exciting.

14 days and I will be in Fort Collins again... :)

Mood: Burnt Out Listening to: Bebo Norman, Myself When I Am Real
Reading: C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce

Just Another Tuesday...

I spent part of yesterday afternoon at the rec center with my brother running on a treadmill and swimming laps... exercise is always good once you get there, but it takes such an effort to get me there... :)

And then I had accountability with Laura, who I finally saw for the first and only time in a week. We had to go B&N because, alas, our spot at Borders is closed for remodelling... sad day.

Last night, I finished the NT survey that I've been working through this summer and, tonight, I'm going to start on some other stuff that I've been wanting to get to all summer, so I'm excited about that...

John and I went to TNL tonight and heard a guy talk about the Kingdom of God ('cause he's been a missionary all over the world), which was cool. We listened to Caedmon's Call's "Share the Well" on the way there, so we were kind of in the mood for it. It's such a fun, moving, and convicting CD... all in one. Good stuff. We went to Chili's after and had chips 'n' queso. Mmm...

In other news... (not too exciting tonight and, for that, I'm sorry) my small group from high school is getting together on Friday (which is totally awesome... I haven't seen everyone since Christmas). We're dressing "up" and going downtown for dinner before coming back to Hannah's apartment for a gabfest... 'cause we do that, you know... TALK!

That actually used to be our problem... which is why we started meeting every week instead of every other. We would talk so much that we wouldn't get to the lesson part of the night... so we would talk the whole time every other week and actually learn something the weeks in between. Such great times...

Things are going okay here, although I'm definitely ready to be back in the Fort. I'm having to restrain myself from packing now because I really want to do it and do it better than I did last year. But that will be difficult to do, considering last year I was working full time and packing in the middle of the night and this year I am doing, well... nothing. :)

Oh... for anyone who has been wondering what those "things" are at the top of the page... they're butterflies and I'm not sure if I'm going to keep them yet or not, so...

I'm going to go now... and do stuff I should have done a lot earlier on today. 'Cause that is usually a good idea. 'Night.

Mood: Anticipatory Listening to: Caedmon's Call, Share the Well
Reading: C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce [I'm on a C.S. Lewis kick currently...]