The past few days have been somewhat fuzzy... I remember Friday night and then a lot of squealing from various women in my life, a lot of hugs, and a lot of "Congratulations!"
When I last wrote, I spoke of holding to things too tightly. For me over the last few months, one of those things has been the timing for Chris and I to get married. And, the past few months and especially last weekend at the Rock Retreat, it was finally something that I was able to let go.
In July, I prayed about my fears regarding life post-graduation. I voiced those fears in questions and speculation about things to come. I was so disheartened by waking up in the middle of the night and finding no one next to me that I could barely think about anything else. I wasted much of my time this summer in holding too tightly to what I thought should happen.
But I voiced my discontentment and prayed for grace. And, in the last few weeks especially, God has granted it, re-focusing my mind and my heart onto Scripture and people and ministry and just letting me rest in the knowledge that He has the whole thing under control.
My prayer last week was one based out of Andrew Murray's "Absolute Surrender" from his book of the same name:
How beautiful is our salvation! How much I owe to Thee that can never be repaid!
O, how I long to utterly surrender, Jesus! How I long to have that heart which says, "All I have is Thine"! But I do not, so I ask it of You that You would give me that heart.
Whom have I to fear? Death and separation have no power over me! I have been placed with Christ in the heavenlies! To die is gain!
Let me be like the cup into which the tea is poured, empty and given up to the tea, and ready to not only stand but to fight for the Gospel in boldness and upon Truth.
And, as God has continued to teach me of these things and to increase this prayer, He has also granted me one of the deepest desires of my heart.
Friday night, Christopher asked me to marry him and I said, 'Yes." (Not that many, if any, people will be surprised by that). And, to be honest, I can't even begin to describe the overwhelming emotions that come over me every time I think of the fact that this man is going to be my husband.
How good is the Lord, to allow foolish people a chance to do things right? To plan our futures and watch our every steps, working out the timing in perfect fashion? To love us who deserve nothing and yet give us the desires of our hearts?
It is still so surreal. Even now, the fact that there is now a ring on my left ring finger does nothing to dispel the inability of this to sink in. I'm going to marry Christopher Reynolds and be his wife, and that is an incredible thing!
Regardless, I still have five and a half weeks of school left, the end of which I am eagerly anticipating and dreading simultaneously. I've begun looking at jobs and will begin applying this week.
As for now, I'm working my third shift at the desk in the last 24 hours and I was up until 5:30 a.m. writing a paper for my history class last night, so I'm somewhat exhausted and ready to go to bed, especially since it is now 2:20 a.m. and I still have over an hour and a half left on my shift.
I figure I'll maybe watch some television and write a letter to the love of my life. Sounds like a plan.
And now you know what's new with me. Keep us in prayer. We'll need it.
Mood: Euphoric Listening to: The Format, Dog Problems
Reading: Andrew Murray, Absolute Surrender
"Those that cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs." [[Jonah 2:8]]
07 November 2006
12 October 2006
You lose control when you hold too tight
It's amazing how true that has held to my life lately.
Week eight is almost done and I'm still not quite sure how I got here or how I got here so quickly, but I'm here. The times when I try to hold too tight to my schedule and getting all of my work done, I lose control of everything. Sometimes, the best thing that I can do is just force myself to go to bed instead of staying up to do work. Oh well.
The retreat last weekend was sweet. I enjoyed the time with my girls, the boys enjoyed their time in the wilderness, the small group enjoyed being leadership-free for the weekend. All seems to still be rolling along quite well, however.
And, now, issue 5 of the Voice is ready to be put together, which is still so strange. It's become such an incredible, regular part of my routine. It's always such a delight to see what people are writing and then be able to put together the whole package.
I'm really ready to be done with school. I feel like it's just taking time away from other things I could be doing, and though I want to quit (honestly), I'll still finish and hopefully, finish strong. It just takes a lot of motivation sometimes.
Anyway, I'm here to drop off some more pictures from Lauren and Greg's wedding and issue 4 of the Voice, in case you're wondering what went into it. My story about women wanting to be traditional that I wrote last spring made it in, in its entirety. It's an article that I put a lot of work into, so that's exciting.
Here you go...
The reason for the occasion, Lauren and Greg. She's so pretty.
My best friend, Laura, and her husband, Andy. They got married a month after Lauren and Greg.
Chris and I at the wedding. I'm not quite sure what my face is doing, but it's weird.
Much better. You can barely see me at all. :)
And Issue #4 of The Student Voice!
Mood: Reluctant to go to class Listening to: Copeland, Eat, Sleep, Repeat
Reading: My second integration project for JT480
Week eight is almost done and I'm still not quite sure how I got here or how I got here so quickly, but I'm here. The times when I try to hold too tight to my schedule and getting all of my work done, I lose control of everything. Sometimes, the best thing that I can do is just force myself to go to bed instead of staying up to do work. Oh well.
The retreat last weekend was sweet. I enjoyed the time with my girls, the boys enjoyed their time in the wilderness, the small group enjoyed being leadership-free for the weekend. All seems to still be rolling along quite well, however.
And, now, issue 5 of the Voice is ready to be put together, which is still so strange. It's become such an incredible, regular part of my routine. It's always such a delight to see what people are writing and then be able to put together the whole package.
I'm really ready to be done with school. I feel like it's just taking time away from other things I could be doing, and though I want to quit (honestly), I'll still finish and hopefully, finish strong. It just takes a lot of motivation sometimes.
Anyway, I'm here to drop off some more pictures from Lauren and Greg's wedding and issue 4 of the Voice, in case you're wondering what went into it. My story about women wanting to be traditional that I wrote last spring made it in, in its entirety. It's an article that I put a lot of work into, so that's exciting.
Here you go...
The reason for the occasion, Lauren and Greg. She's so pretty.
My best friend, Laura, and her husband, Andy. They got married a month after Lauren and Greg.
Chris and I at the wedding. I'm not quite sure what my face is doing, but it's weird.
Much better. You can barely see me at all. :)
And Issue #4 of The Student Voice!
Mood: Reluctant to go to class Listening to: Copeland, Eat, Sleep, Repeat
Reading: My second integration project for JT480
02 October 2006
The Student Voice!!!
Picture fun...
I took pictures off of Abra's camera... :) It's okay. She knew I was doing it (at least she knew I was looking for pictures for Mike's article for the SV yesterday, so... she kind of knew).
I like Abra. People always forget what happens when we're together and then they remember very quickly.
Chris and I don't take the best pictures. I have a tendency to look high, and he has a tendency to do strange things in order to try and make a better picture. This was on the way to Denver for GCLI Saturday morning. Crazy good stuff.
We were trying not to focus on the fact that Abra was taking a picture of us at IHOP a few weeks back. I'm not quite sure what's up with the crazy side view of my head, but the rest of the picture isn't that bad. Chris has shaved since then.
I like Abra. People always forget what happens when we're together and then they remember very quickly.
Chris and I don't take the best pictures. I have a tendency to look high, and he has a tendency to do strange things in order to try and make a better picture. This was on the way to Denver for GCLI Saturday morning. Crazy good stuff.
We were trying not to focus on the fact that Abra was taking a picture of us at IHOP a few weeks back. I'm not quite sure what's up with the crazy side view of my head, but the rest of the picture isn't that bad. Chris has shaved since then.
01 October 2006
My time seems to be worth so much more than it used to...
I used to sit around between classes and talk to people. I used to play computer games and watch television and read books. Now, if I have free time, I'm usually asleep, working, at the front desk, or working at the boys' house. I have to force myself to take time out of my day and relax sometimes. It is at those times that I realize I am six weeks into my last semester of school.
In the past week, I worked 16 hours at the desk, three for CHI, 10 hours on the newspaper, went to seven of nine classes, contracted a cold, played guitar every day except yesterday, met with three of the ladies on our team, attended a myriad of events, conducted two interviews and decided that I wanted to quit everything.
Oh, if only I hadn't signed my graduation contract a few weeks back!
All in all, however, I'm doing more than fine most of the time. It just sucks when you're exhausted and you have a cold and you have to get work done, and all you want to do is crawl up into a ball and cry yourself to sleep (that's what happens when I'm supremely exhausted).
But God is faithful. He has placed a premium on my time, to be sure. I have so few chances to be lazy anymore, and that is such a blessing.
I get a break this week from the newspaper, as it's not a layout week and I don't have a story to write. I do, however, have the retreat to finalize (music and my talk for Sunday), my first article for my capstone due Wednesday and a big honkin' history exam Friday. Some days, I think I'm just along for the ride... trying to keep up with my life.
Whelp, I have to go drop off Christopher's stuff at the house and get to the church for the Student Voice meeting. Then, life kicks into gear again. At least my room is clean again.
Mood: Um... Listening to: The Waiting, Unfazed
Reading: The latest issue of the Student Voice - on stands Oct. 3!
In the past week, I worked 16 hours at the desk, three for CHI, 10 hours on the newspaper, went to seven of nine classes, contracted a cold, played guitar every day except yesterday, met with three of the ladies on our team, attended a myriad of events, conducted two interviews and decided that I wanted to quit everything.
Oh, if only I hadn't signed my graduation contract a few weeks back!
All in all, however, I'm doing more than fine most of the time. It just sucks when you're exhausted and you have a cold and you have to get work done, and all you want to do is crawl up into a ball and cry yourself to sleep (that's what happens when I'm supremely exhausted).
But God is faithful. He has placed a premium on my time, to be sure. I have so few chances to be lazy anymore, and that is such a blessing.
I get a break this week from the newspaper, as it's not a layout week and I don't have a story to write. I do, however, have the retreat to finalize (music and my talk for Sunday), my first article for my capstone due Wednesday and a big honkin' history exam Friday. Some days, I think I'm just along for the ride... trying to keep up with my life.
Whelp, I have to go drop off Christopher's stuff at the house and get to the church for the Student Voice meeting. Then, life kicks into gear again. At least my room is clean again.
Mood: Um... Listening to: The Waiting, Unfazed
Reading: The latest issue of the Student Voice - on stands Oct. 3!
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