31 January 2006

Mute Math, music & media attention

So... Mute Math is coming to town on February 7 and I fully plan on attending the event with Laura. Did I mention that they are releasing their LP only at their concerts? No national distribution for the album yet... not sure why, but I fully intend on buying a copy.

I'm listening to "Typical" right now off of Myspace and it's phenomenal. I'm such a nerd. Can't wait.

Two weeks into my music regimen, I'm beginning to find freedom in writing again. It's crazy to think of having taken such a break, but there is such a beautiful simplicity in the act of obedience. Man... God's taking me somewhere, for sure.

If only I knew where that was. I'm in for a wild ride.

Classes are going well, even if they are a bit tedious. Psychology is easy, at least. Ethics is a lot of work (reading and writing), but I'm really enjoying what we're studying because it really interests me. Granted, I'm more of a black-and-white person than waddling around in the grey, but it interests me, nonetheless.

I really like my magazine writing professor. He doesn't keep us longer than he needs to and he doesn't give us extraneous stuff to learn. It's refreshing and directly in contrast with my last class, which I'm currently waiting for the start of. Online journalism is turning out to be the biggest joke of my semester so far, but we'll see what happens. I feel like everything is review and I'm getting a sense of deja-vu from last spring in computer-mediated visual communication.

I've got to look over my notes now, though, because I have a quiz in about a half an hour. I think we're doing an HTML tutorial today. Yippee. Sign my name under "bored".

Mood: Tired Listening to: Mute Math, Mute Math
Reading: Online Journalism Notes

26 January 2006

Spaz-tastic Me!

I almost pulled an all-nighter last night, but decided against it. I finished my second paper during an extended lunch break today because my Ethics prof was out (so we had a short class with my old Media History prof). And I finished (or I thought I finished) my reading for my 1pm class, but I didn't do very well on the quiz because I realized that I had neglected to read an additional article that he had copied and given us to read for today. Oh well. At least we didn't have a quiz in Ethics.

I'm so off-kilter today. It's the decided lack of sleep, I'm sure, but I feel like nothing is working the way it should. Oh... and I broke my glasses when I tried to clean them off before Ethics (the screw came out of one side and I lost it). Granted, I wouldn't have been wearing my glasses had I not been so tired from staying up most of the night doing reading and writing a paper for that class, for which the prof didn't even show up, but I'm not bitter.

Man, do I have personality today! The small group might not be so pleased with me tonight! LOL. I crack myself up.

Anyway, I gots to get back to class... because that's where I am, even though it has yet to start. Right.

Mood: Spaz-tastic Listening to: Keyboards clicking
Reading: Media Ethics

24 January 2006

Does life ever really slow down?

I had a wonderful time in Vail, fellowshiping with MountainView people and getting to spend time with Chris. It was great to get away, to do something different, to work on some things that I was wanting to get around to.

One of those things was an attempt at honesty. I wrote my parents a letter that detailed some things from my past that I felt were especially relevant to where I am currently. I prayed about this for the past year, asking God to show me the right time and what needed to be told.

So, I wrote my letter in Vail (I had been thinking it out for weeks). It was a long letter. I put a lot of thought and prayer into the words that I chose.

When I left for school, I left the finished letter with my parents.

My mom's reaction surprised me. She was supportive of where I am, almost completely writing off my past experiences. She understood things that I was afraid she wouldn't understand.

My dad's reaction, however, was also a surprise. I felt that every action I took was misunderstood.

And it hurts to know that there has come a time when I don't completely agree with my dad. It's a relationship I have always treasured (and I will continue to do so).

But it's all about God's timing. Despite advice and warnings, it's okay to do things differently once in a while. Every person is going to be different. Replication is not always the best thing and it can, in the end, even lead to failure.

I haven't lived long enough to say that I know all that I'm talking about. I am inexperienced and foolish and incredibly naive - but can't I be free to make my own mistakes?

When someone tells you that you need to be safe before you can take a risk, isn't that somewhat oxymoronic? Isn't that defeating the purpose? I'm trying to work it through my head, and it's not working its way through - no matter how much I wrestle with it.

People grow up. Things change. We're not always going to do what others want us to.

But we answer to our Father and Him alone... May that be all the motivation for risk we ever need.

Mood: Bored Listening to: Acceptance, Phantoms
Reading: Stuff for Media Ethics

10 January 2006

Midnighting It

Well, Chris said my last post was kind of depressing (and I agree), so I figure I shouldn't leave it like that.

I am currently in the process of importing music to my library so that I can upload my iPod with files that are all legal and that is all music I actually want on there (my brother and I agree on most things, but not everything). I should have about 20 CDs on there for now (that's all I have time to import before I leave tomorrow night), as well as almost 400 sermons by A.W. Tozer (!).

But I'm excited because I can put it on random and hear stuff that I actually want to hear... As opposed to having to hit "next" every other song because every other song is by Dave Matthews (not a big fan).

I'm headed up to Erin's parents' house in Vail tomorrow after I finish work (only one more day - how exciting!), and I'm really ready to get out of here for a few days. It's just weird to be working and coming home and sitting around with my parents and going to bed and starting all over again.

Changes of pace are good. As is seeing Chris and my friends from the Fort.

The new Delirious? CD is amazing... It's so intense and convicting and haunting all at once. If that is what comes from being disgusted with the Christian music industry and where the church is today, we can only hope that more artists call the church to action as opposed to limping by within the Christian bubble.

A lot of Christian artists get flak for entering the mainstream, but I have issues with that. You can't tell if someone is a believer by their appearance or by the press releases that their management sends out.

You can tell a believer by how they live and by how they love others.

The media sucks anyway (Being a student of it, I know this all too well). You can never be sure what is true and what has been manufactured these days.

And so, while some may think "Christian" bands "sell out" by entering the mainstream, unless the music changes or I hear directly from their lips that Christ is no longer their Lord, I will give my fellow body members the benefit of the doubt.

Besides, when did we get so caught up in our bubble that we have "Christian" music? Why can't good music just be good music, without a label?

Sorry... The whole topic just gets me irritated sometimes.

We are so consumed by keeping ourselves "clean" that we fail to reach outside of the church bubble to those that are in need of hope, we even confine our musicians to the same bubble - and we fail to support them when they feel compelled to go into the world and share the hope that we have, even if the world does not understand it.

There are a lot of politics involved with anything, especially music. Contracts may limit what an artist can say but, if an artist is bent on integrity, their contract will not limit what they can write.

Let the music speak for itself. If it's good, it'll catch on... No matter what the lyrics.

How much better it is to have something catch on that brings hope and that is, for once, clean!

Calling the church to action is something that must be done, but one album is not going to be able to do it alone.

We each have to remember that we are commanded to go into the world and share the hope that lies within us... And we aren't doing that like we should be!

I pray you haven't been offended by my stepping up onto my soapbox. I'll step down now. It's been a long day and I'm really tired, but I refuse to go to bed just yet because I'm still waiting on music to import and Chris will be more irritated with me this way.

He'll get over it... He gets to see me tomorrow. :)

Anyway, I'm going to go get ready for bed now. That should at least pacify some who believe I don't ever intend on sleeping.

Mood: Exhausted (evil phones!) Listening to: Delirious?, The Mission Bell
Reading: Philip Gulley, Home to Harmony

06 January 2006


Work sucks.

Two and a half more days...

Have I really only been here for a little over two hours?

Small group reunion tonight, but we'll see who shows up. It'll at least be good to see Cindy again. She's cool. I like her. It'll be a great thing after work. :)

I have nothing to do but check files and that's so boring... I'll have to see if there is anything else that I can do. I checked files for three hours yesterday. :(

Back to work. Honestly.

Mood: Tired Listening to: Phones ring
Reading: The tech support screen

02 January 2006

My best friend...

...and me!

We went dress shopping for Laura's wedding today, so that was fun. We didn't actually pick out specific dresses, just tried them on for style to see what works (I'm kind of confused on how Laura's mom wants this whole process to work, but oh well).

It was good to spend some time with Laura, though. I like being real friends with her. :)

Mood: Um... good question Listening to: The television
Reading: Acceptance, Phantoms

01 January 2006

The life and times of an office temp...

Well... this week was fun, I guess. I worked Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday at a job that continues through January 10 (the week before I go back to school), which is such a blessing, even if it's boring.

I've been filing and doing data entry and binding manuals and answering phones and confirming information and watering plants and starting the dishwasher at the end of the day. It's really not as great as it sounds (sad, huh?), but it's good money and I could really use funds to replace what I took out of my savings this past semester. Not to mention funding Chris' and my dating habit.

But it keeps me busy and keeps me from going crazy.

John leaves in the morning and my mom kind of chewed me out for leaving for two hours when I got home tonight (Laura and I went to see a friend that we haven't seen since August). Since John was busy packing (and continued to do that until he went to bed right after I got home), I figured it would be okay and checked with Dad. I didn't think it would be this big of a problem, but I was wrong.

I am wrong sometimes. Well, quite a lot, actually.

I'm going to miss my little brother. It's been so good to have him home for a few weeks. He's going back to good people, though, and it is so incredibly encouraging to know he is growing like a weed in the spiritual sense. What blessings there are in knowing your family believes!

I rang in the new year at Em's again, but it was a different crowd of people this year (although there were quite a few of the same people there, which was great - it was just smaller overall). It was great to see everyone, especially now that I have time for people and am not just focused on switching churches and still being alive at the end of everything (which is over, you see, so... no pressure!) I got to spend some one-on-one time with a few of the girls, which was really great. God has us all in different places for a reason and it's scary and wonderful to know He's working.

And it was good to have Chris there, too. It's been really nice to spend some time with him over the past few days without having either set of parents (or grandparents or godparents or extended family) around... and to get to spend more than just a few hours together. I really miss him when he's not around, which definitely is not helped by the fact that there are still two weeks before I'm back in the Fort.

But things will go back to normal again and there will be no need for extensive use of cellular telephones (which are horrible, buzzing contraptions that die when low on battery).

And I'll get to see Chris again tomorrow because his car is here while he and his parents are in the Fort visiting his brother and sister-in-law! That's four days in a row! But it'll be after I go bridesmaid dress shopping with Laura and Spud (who's actually home - it's so exciting!)

I'm so incredibly blessed where Chris is concerned - God is so good and faithful when I am so foolish. It amazes me how perfectly He orchestrates things before anything ever starts coming together, but it's all there in the end!

Granted, it's a little weird to be home. I have no idea what my parents think. Perhaps it is just that they're still in shock from the fact that I'm dating, but they seem really quiet about everything. They don't really ask any questions or show any emotion one way or the other, so I really have no idea what they think. It's left me somewhat unsettled, to be honest, so you can definitely pray for that.

I'm really tired from last night (I didn't sleep all that well), so I think I'm going to head to bed (especially since I have an earlier day tomorrow than normal - and a full day, at that).

I know, however, that what I need most is to simply fall at my Savior's feet, for only He is truly worthy of my praise and only He knows me well enough to administer to me all that I need at this very hour.

Mood: Exhausted (in many ways) Listening to: Acceptance, Phantoms
Reading: Romans