31 August 2005

And it continues...

TWO: Unity of the Body

"The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body - whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free - and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.

Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, 'Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,' it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, 'Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,' it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

The eye cannot say to the hand, 'I don't need you!' And the head cannot say to the feet, 'I don't need you!' On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? But eagerly desire the greater gifts."

[[1 Corinthians 12:12-31]]

30 August 2005

The Challenge Begins...

ONE: The Holy Spirit Poured Out

"When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them." [[Acts 2:1-4]]

"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." [[Matthew 18:20]]

28 August 2005


For the first time in weeks, I am calm and for whatever strange reason, peaceful and content.

Sure, it comes with its own set of questions, but... praise the Lord!

When I figure more out, I'll let you know. Right now, I'm a little confused. :)


Mood: Worshipful Listening to: Smalltown Poets, Listen Closely
Reading: Nothing... I'm going to bed

27 August 2005

Past the Breaking Point

Got a stack of books so I could learn how to live;
Many are left half-read covered by the cobwebs on my shelf.
And I got a list of laws growing longer everyday;
If I keep pluggin' away, maybe one day I'll perfect myself.

Oh, but all of my labor seems to be in vain;
And all of my laws just cause me more pain;
So I fall before You in all of my shame;
Ready and willing to be changed-

Own me
Take all that I am,
and heal me!
With the blood of the Lamb.
Mold me with Your gracious hand;
Break me till I'm only Yours-
Own me!

You call me Daughter,
And take my blame;
You run to meet me,
As I cry out Your name,
So I fall before You in all of my shame,
Lord, I am ready to be changed

[["Own Me"]] Words and Music by Ginny Owens: BMG Songs, Inc. (Gospel
Division)/Above The Rim Music (Administered by BMG Songs, Inc.) (ASCAP)

26 August 2005

Let's try this again...

Hopefully, it won't get lost like my last chance at posting something on Dave's computer.

I miss my Laura... :(

It's been a few days since I talked to her and more than a week since we actually got in some decent "chat time". Considering that a lot has been on my mind and a lot of really deep discussions have gone on recently, I just really want to talk to her.

Being in the halls this year is definitely different... The jury's still out on some of the staff. I feel like every time I turn around, there's someone there waiting for me to violate some obscure rule that I don't know about or trying to find a loophole for getting me busted when my actions are according to school policy.

To be honest, it's kind of creepy.

But I have to find a way in which I can still respect those in authority over me while making sure that my witness is not diminished.

Classes are going well, though... it will be a lot of work, but at least it is only four classes (instead of six) and they're all classes that I enjoy (to some extent or another). I have some awesome (if eccentric) profs, so it's entertaining.

But I think I'm ready to give up on the "dating, relationships and marriage" topic for a while... six months to a year, perhaps? I'm just frustrated with it... and talking about it never really gets me anywhere.

It has been good to start straightening things out in that vein, though... tying up loose ends from the spring semester and finally finding an honest peace, even if it's awkward at times.

I am so blessed by the men in my life. They put up with me... and that says a lot. :)

Naptime, I think... on Autumn.

Who is "Autumn"? That's a whole 'nother story.

Mood: Contemplative Listening to: Jars of Clay, Who We Are Instead
Reading: The Art of Editing

24 August 2005

Complaint and the Calm

The last couple days have been kind of crazy with starting classes and Bible study and all sorts of stuff, not to mention the fact that I have been extremely distracted by my own personal brainwaves...

Monday night, I was up until 1:30am at the front desk, talking with Eddie while he was working. To be honest, I don't know if I encourage people or depress them when I talk for hours like that. I always come away feeling challenged, but I have no idea what the other perspective is.

We had introductory meetings for the MVCC Bible study Monday night and last night, and they both seemed to go well. There are definitely some things about being leadership that are going to be a challenge, but I recognize that God has placed me here for a reason.

A lot of our conversation lately has been about dating, relationships, and marriage. For that reason (among others), I feel really old. There are so many freshmen around here who are not concerned at all about whether or not they might get married, have kids, or ever date again... they're more concerned with being away from home for the first time, keeping their grades up, and finding creative ways to eat food from the dining hall.

Which you would think I would be concerned about, too... but instead, I'm focused on this large, obscure topic.

Am I supposed to get married? If so, to who? When? What if the right person never initiates anything? What then?

Dave and I had the chance to sit down and talk about some of this stuff last night while everyone else was out (Chels was working and most everyone else was at a bonfire). I understand that I am not meant to initiate anything, nor really do anything (purposefully) that might have the motive of initiation. Dave (and just about every other guy I've talked to) is afraid of being rejected and/or hurting the feelings of a girl who actually does like him.

So where does that leave any of us? If the men are afraid of action and the women are not called to it, then how does anything get done? Is it "impossible" to start a relationship? What about Ruth and Tamar with their responsibility to the customs of their culture?

Chels and I vented last night, to be honest... and the guys fell asleep. I feel as though the "right person" will never speak up due to some irrational fear of my saying "no" and then I will be left with one of two choices:

Settling for second-best or becoming an old spinster who throws cats at small children.

And I don't like cats! I don't want to have to own cats in order to project them into the air...

But I have such a strange feeling of calm this morning... almost as though I just needed to vent in order to finally rest.

I don't want to end up alone, but right now, I just don't seem to care. Strange indeed.

I'm going to make my bed now 'cause Nick's coming over to hang out. So... yeah. I'm out.

Mood: Calm Listening to: Smalltown Poets, Third Verse
Reading: Working with Words

22 August 2005


... I just lost my last post. It was long, too.

Two words: Dave's computer.

And two more: My fault.

Whoops. I should have seen it coming... all that work for nothing!

I'm going to work on picking things up now. That would be good.


And, once more, classes...

I'm waiting for my third (and last) class of the day to begin. It's funny how all of my classes are in the same building. They were all on the same floor, too, but one of them was changed due to the insanely large number of people that showed up for it.

Things are going well here. I'm really tired and I keep nodding off during my classes. I had a really bizarre dream last night (bizarre because there was nothing abnormal about it).

We had our annual floor/hall meetings last night with the director and the CDA and the police officers and stuff... It was definitely not my favorite thing and, of the last three years, my least favorite session.

Hopefully, this class will not last too long. That way, I might be able to get back and cram in a quick nap before lunch and the rest of my day. One of the beauties of my schedule this semester is that I'm out of class by the time the guys are in class, so I can actually manage to get some stuff done.

That would be good.

Fewer awkward silences would be good, too. Laters.

Mood: Hazy Listening to: Joy Williams, Genesis
Reading: C.S. Lewis, The Silver Chair

21 August 2005

The Beauty of Dorm Life

How cool is it that I actually sleep well here at school?

Pretty darn cool.

Anyway... the past few days have been somewhat insane. Half of the time, I have had little to do but go to 1SW and lie down on the couch in Dave and Stephen's room and, the other half of the time, I have had too many choices!

I've been meeting the girls on the floor, slowly but surely, and they seem to be pretty cool. I feel old, though. The guys think I'm cracked.

I just got in from hanging out with Nick (he was on-call tonight, so I hung out with him until he got a call). God's really stretching him (as He is with all of us, it seems) and it was good to talk with him face-to-face about some of what has been going on instead of trying to get in a good conversation over a phone call. We walked around campus for a while, which was really cool. It's such a beautiful night.

Dave, Stephen and Chris are all bunked into one room... it's quite interesting. The RAs think their creativity construction-wise is one of the coolest things they have seen, even if it is probably against university policy.

It's been quite a whirlwind of emotions since I've been here. I keep questioning whether my heart is in the right place and, if it isn't, I keep asking what I can do to get it in the right place.

I honestly don't think that half of what guys say to girls actually registers... it's just left to the girls to deal with what comes out and, hopefully, not overanalyze it.

I keep bouncing back and forth between extremes. One moment, I'm so grateful to be here and excited for what God has planned for the coming days... the next, I'm remembering that Nathan was going to be here or trying not to overanalyze something in my quest to acquire patience in waiting.

How do you "snag a man" (totally not my term) without initiating anything? That's the question of the year. :)

But nights like tonight remind me that my life could consist of worse things than rumors and awkward moments... and messages like the one Pastor Kevin gave tonight remind me that I do not devote my energy to what I need to (the story of the woman washing Jesus' feet with her tears and annointing His feet with perfume, found in Luke).

When was the last time I merely sat at my Savior's feet and wept tears of gratefulness instead of anguish?

It constantly amazes me how one day in the dorms can teach me more than I could begin to fathom. I am so blessed by my brothers and sisters who live here and hang around... I am so incredibly blessed!

So, while I fight myself over whether or not my heart is in the right place, God always manages to sneak in the part about it not really mattering... if only the one would cease to exist.

As for now, I'm in trouble.

May God have mercy on my weakness. 'Night.

Mood: Contemplative Listening to: Monarch, The Grandeur that Was Rome
Reading: C.S. Lewis, The Silver Chair

18 August 2005

Ready to Roll...

I'm back in Fort Collins and it's awesome to finally be less than 90 miles away from (just about) everyone.

The exhaustion is starting to hit me pretty hard, though. I was up late last night watching a movie at Em's and then I got up at 7 to get to the dorms so I could start moving in at 8...

I'm sort of partially incoherent at the moment.

In addition to getting moved in and things set up (like our new Internet policy - not difficult for me because I have a Mac), Chels and I have begun getting to know the girls on our floor. It's the largest group I've lived with on this floor... every other year, it has been a smaller group (but we're always the smallest floor in the building).

It's shaping up to be quite the year... it's been really cool to come back and know more people than just my roommate (as it was when I came back last year). I got to hang out with people last night and have been running into people all day, which is awesome.

How sweet it is to have my "family" all in one place! :)

Anyway... I'm going to try and get some reading done. Hope all is well wherever you are!

Mood: Sleepy Listening to: Mae, The Everglow
Reading: Luke, Acts 15

17 August 2005

Almost There...

I looked up and thought, "Wow... I've been packing for an hour and a half when I told myself I wasn't going to pack anything tonight". That, coupled with the headache that I'm currently sporting, is quite a combination.

It makes me very incoherent.

But it is my last night in town with my parents, in my bed, in the room I grew up in... at least for now. :)

It's off to the Fort I go! After I sleep, of course... 'Night.

Mood: Pained Listening to: The Dandy Warhols, Welcome to the Monkey House
Reading: C.S. Lewis, The Silver Chair

16 August 2005

What costs $2.45 and smells like rotten eggs?

A single gallon of gas. It was $2.33 yesterday!

Anyway... that's all I got for now. Laters.

Mood: Um... Listening to: The Format, Interventions & Lullabies
Reading: C.S. Lewis, The Silver Chair

15 August 2005

The Spray Gel Fiend...

So... I bought spray gel the other day because I finally have begun to realize that I can use it 'cause the bottom half of my hair curls. It's cool. I like it a lot... it makes my "low" maintenance look better.

And it's fun... 'cause I get to scrunch my hair. :)

Anyway... after rising two hours after I fell asleep, I went and served my day as a potential juror. After eight hours, I was finally excused due to my moving and educational plans. Jury duty isn't actually that bad... it's just boring for hours at a time (I made it through The Voyage of the Dawn Treader and began The Silver Chair).

The case that I was assigned to was kind of creepy anyway... it was a sexual assault case involving children. To be honest, I wasn't at all wanting to serve as a juror and hear the testimonies that would come forth... too hard for me. It would be like listening to some of my (past) campers... it always breaks my heart.

But, hopefully, both fairness and justice will ensue. That is, after all, the purpose of our court and jury systems.

So... I'm home again. It's Dad's birthday, so we're going out to celebrate and then I'm coming home to honestly try to get a good night's rest so I can pack and clean and get my teeth drilled tomorrow... :)

Maybe more later when I'm more coherent... funny how that always seems to happen at night.

Mood: Dazed Listening to: Bethany Dillon, Bethany Dillon
Reading: C.S. Lewis, The Silver Chair

Hetoimazo Like a Mad Woman...

Hetoimazo (verb):
1. to make ready, prepare
2. to make the necessary preparations, get everything ready

... Between Thursday night and Friday morning, my stress level rose about 500-bazillion percent. I found out Friday that I actually have to show up for jury duty at 8am tomorrow. If they actually use me, I could be used for a yet-to-be-determined amount of time, so I've been trying to get as much packed as I can before I find out if I'm going to be able to have time to finish packing that isn't in the middle of the night (which is actually what I did last year because I worked full-time up through Friday and then moved in Saturday).

It's too crazy! I have (possibly) three fewer days to get ready to move that I thought I did last Thursday... and the possibility is what is currently stressing me out!

Nevermind that, though... I got to hang out with Laura tonight, which was awesome. I miss just getting to hang out with her at random times and talking in one large unending sentence ('cause we do that so well). I was hoping to get to spend time with her the first few days of this week, but I don't know if that will actually end up happening (due to the aforementioned stuff)... she's finally done with work and I still might not get to spend time with her. :(

We looked at rings online tonight ('cause we're nerds)... John thinks we're unhealthy emotionally. Oh well... Some of them were really pretty and it seems that the place to start looking for engagement rings is on eBay... :)

I've been working through some passages and continuing in my word studies (which are taking a while because most of the passages are several verses, not just one or two). It's been really cool to just dig in my heels and see what God placed in the original language... very sweet.

Anyway... I need to finish up some stuff and then attempt the wonderful, elusive thing called "sleep". Early morning. Great.

Two days and I'm on my way... :)

Mood: Stressed Listening to: iTunes library (Random)
Reading: Luke, The Book of Acts

13 August 2005

3:21:40am and counting...

Still up... I spent time reading and looking up words and such... and then I spent time packing 'cause there's no time like the middle of the night to pack up random things like skirts and sweatshirts and the like.

It's starting to hit me that I only have until Wednesday to get things finished up here at home... and I have jury duty on Monday at 8am. Unlike the jurors after me in the numbers, I was not excused before I had to show.

So... I have to show up and see if they need me and for how long.

And I need boxes.

My dentist appointment got moved to Tuesday because the doctor was sick.

The A/C is fixed 'cause they installed a new unit. It's nice and frigid in our house now. :)

Yes, those were random thoughts... it happens sometimes.

I spent some time in the hot tub tonight, looking at the sky as the sunlight faded over the mountains and the stars started to appear. It's crazy that we take the night sky for granted... it's so beautiful.

Anyway... I got to thinking (once again) about all the things I'm going back to in Fort Collins. It's overwhelming at times to think that I even have something to go back to (as opposed to last year). I am so incredibly blessed at the same time that I am so incredibly terrified of what God has in store for me over this next semester (and, having lived through last semester, I think it's somewhat justified to be scared).

Heck... I'm even worried about how He's going to manage the next week when I'm still not sleeping well.

My prayer journal is filling up again, which is still really weird for me... I started this one at the beginning of July and I'm already a sixth of the way through it. In my old one, the first two and a half years filled up the first half and February through June of this past year (5 months) made up the content of the last half.

It's amazing how habits and compulsions can change so drastically over time. I'm beginning to wonder if my journal will last me through this semester... I've written so much while I've been home and I write so much more while at school, 'cause so much more happens at school.

A lot of things are changing here at home, though - we have a new college pastor, John's leaving for college soon, my friends are getting engaged and married and having children...

And yet, at the end of the day, I so often feel as though I'm still seven years old on our first night in this house, or as though I'm thirteen and still clasping onto a doll (that my grandparents gave me), praying for my grandpa every night before he finally went home to glory...

So much changes, but so much stays the same.

The sun is going to rise in only a few hours, as it has done for the past 20 years... and I will, hopefully, be sleeping soundly. 'Night.

Mood: Contemplative Listening to: The Dandy Warhols, Welcome to the Monkey House
Reading: C.S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

11 August 2005

And now... Wednesday

So... I just got an email saying that I have a meeting on Wednesday night that I have to be at.

So... I'm going to be moving a day early, which is great... it's just the telling people that I'm moving a day earlier than I expected and getting everything done and finding someplace to crash on Wednesday night that's the problem...

Oi me... I'm so ready to just be back in the Fort. 'Night.

Thursday afternoons...

...are officially the most boring part of the week. :)

Turns out we're getting a new A/C unit because it's more cost-effective to just get a new one with new technology and new warranties and stuff for about $200 more than an air compressor itself. Go figure. But we still don't have it. And it's still hot.

I started packing today and made my way through my textbooks, other books, bedding, and towels. It's a good start. I also laid out my packing responsibilities through next week so I don't just do everything at once and, therefore, I keep living a somewhat meaningful existence that doesn't involve packing all the time in the middle of the night.

I spent a while organizing a (long) list of Greek words that I've been studying lately... that was fun.

I got a job offer on Tuesday, which is funny because it's the end of the summer and it's ironic that I only get a job offer now, when I'm only here for another week. Oh well.

Tonight: Argentinean steaks at Hayro's loft.

Tomorrow: Teeth drilling (cavities - I blame genetics for my deeply-grooved teeth).

Next Week: Jury duty. Yippee.

Anyway, Mom's gone to Indiana to spend time with her parents, so it's just me and the boys this weekend. I really need to get ready to leave for Hayro's soon.

Hope everyone's summer is winding down well... see you soon in the Fort!

Mood: Indeterminable Listening to: The Dandy Warhols, 13 Tales from Urban Bohemia
Reading: C.S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

10 August 2005

It's like a milkshake...

...with a little wheatgrass thrown in. :)

There's a lot of good with slight touches of shock, jealousy, and depression all mixed together.

What is it? Can't tell yet. I'm still in shock. 'Night.

Compressors, Yard Work and Legalities

#1: Compressors - So... the air conditioning is still broken because, instead of it just being the fan that stopped, it is actually the air compressor that is broken (which isn't the cheapest thing ever to replace). But it's really warm in our house. We have every fan going nonstop, are running interference to make sure the right windows are open at the right time... it's entertaining, I guess. The only big problem is that my room is always 10-15 degrees warmer than the rest of the house, so it takes 2-3 hours longer to cool down at night, so it makes it harder to go to sleep at night.

#2: Yard Work - While Dad was waiting for the A/C guy to show up this morning and tell us what was wrong, he weed-whacked and trimmed the bushes and trees in our front yard... and then left the pieces for John and I to pick up when he left to go back to work. So, John and I picked up branches and sticks and leaves and stuff for a while (John actually tried to mow it up, which didn't work too well). It was hot outside too.

#3: Legalities - My little brother is 18 today. It's scary. He can fight for our country, buy tobacco products, non-alcoholic beer and lotto tickets, and he can sign his own release forms. He's growing up and it's cool, but it makes me sad 'cause I can't sit on him anymore. :( He leaves for California in a month and it's a good thing we have free phone-to-phone calling. :)

So that's all for now, I guess. I'll leave you with a picture of Emily and I from our small group get-together last week (courtesy of the best leader ever - Cindy).

Mood: Lazy Listening to: The Dandy Warhols, Welcome to the Monkey House
Reading: C.S. Lewis, Prince Caspian

07 August 2005

"Ye cannot in your present state understand eternity..."

"...But ye can get some likeness of it if ye say that both good and evil, when they are full grown, become retrospective. Not only this valley but all this earthly past will have been Heaven to those who are saved. Not only the twilight in that town, but all their life on earth too, will then be seen by the damned to have been Hell. That is what mortals misunderstand. They say of some temporal suffering, 'No future bliss can make up for it,' not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory. And of some sinful pleasure they say 'Let me but have this and I'll take the consequences': little dreaming how damnation will spread back and back into their past and contaminate the pleasure of the sin. Both processes begin even before death. The good man's past begins to change so that his forgiven sins and remembered sorrows take on the quality of Heaven: the bad man's past already conforms to his badness and is filled only with dreariness. And that is why, at the end of all things, when the sun rises here and the twilight turns to blackness down there, the Blessed will say, 'We have never lived anywhere except in Heaven,' and the Lost, 'We were always in Hell.' And both will speak truly."

[[C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce]]

Obviously, I'm not quite yet asleep, but I came across this passage, which is one of my favorites in all of Christian literature. Just think about it. If you're confused, just read the book (it's pretty short). 'Night (again). :)

06 August 2005

Of Get-togethers and Wasted Days

The past couple days have been kind of crazy... here's why:

Yesterday, I went grocery shopping for my mom, grabbed lunch with my brother (we walked to and from the local Chipotle), and then came home to clean up for dinner with the girls.

We got dressed up (some more than others - I being one of the "some") which was fun. We were going to go downtown to grab some grub at Rock Bottom Brewery, but everything was pretty well packed out, so we wound up at California Pizza Kitchen near the mall, which was good too.

It was good to get to see the girls. I miss our time together every week, but I wouldn't trade my current life for the one I lived in high school. I got to see Hannah and her husband, Daniel, who joined us for dinner.

And Lauren is now engaged, which is cool, but kind of sad... 'cause soon enough, I might very well find myself the crazy old spinster woman who throws cats at small children. :)

It's just weird, I guess... we were always the small group of girls who didn't date, who didn't want to date, and thought of marriage as being a million lightyears away, and now, several have guys, one is married, one is getting married... I just feel old or something and the odd one out.

So... I was out late last night and came home to sleep (which I actually did when I finally got ready for bed around 2:30 - yay!) and then I woke up to an extraordinary amount of pain and my dad telling me that the air conditioning is broken.

I spent my afternoon waiting for medication to work its way through my system when I had originally planned to just sit with my Bible for an extended period of time.

The best-laid plans of mice and men... oft times go awry.

Once I finally felt better, Laura called ('cause she got off from work) and we ventured out to find something to do, asking ourselves, "What do people do on a Saturday night?" Because, you see, we have no idea. We're not normal. We go to church and hang out playing board games on Saturday nights... and when you don't have a church to go to or your friends to play board games with... you get us wondering what the heck normal people do on a Saturday night.

As a result, we went to VI, where we ate dinner (because I was finally hungry and Laura had only eaten mashed potatoes). We then tried to see a movie, but all that was left were late showings, so we decided against it and we went to Wal-Mart.

Now... you have to understand that I haven't been to Wal-Mart without a shopping list for my mom in... a very long time, so we wandered around the store and looked at stuff 'cause we're weird like that. I got a Hershey bar, though... which made the trip well worth it. :)

And now, I'm back at home and I am actually tired enough that I might fall asleep. Amazing, huh?

Hopefully I'll get some rest and not sleep through my alarm in the morning. That would be great.

And, since Laura is working, I might be able to do what I had planned for today, tomorrow. That would be great, too.

That, and if my typing skills would improve... they're kind of bad right now. Must be the drugs. 'Night.

Mood: Ready for Sleep Listening to: Mae, The Everglow
Reading:C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce

05 August 2005


I have never been in want or need;
I have never had lack of anything;
I have seen my share of castles and kings -
How empty it all seems!

I have walked barefoot along the shore;
I have known a home where I am loved and warm;
I have never lived through famine or war -
My hands are clean.

For my blessing, it keeps me,
and it keeps me from knowing
how my brothers live everyday.
And my blessing, it keeps me -
it keeps me from showing
love for my sisters this day.

I have watched the eyes of a child
as they light up with the wildest of smiles,
as she climbs over deep mattress piles -
talking in letters like sand.

And I have seen a young girl's hand,
outstretched with the fruit of the land,
giving me all that she has -
How foreign I am!

For her blessing, it keeps her,
and it keeps her from knowing
the dissatisfaction I find everyday.
And her blessing, it keeps her -
it keeps her showing
that we can give it all away.

What blessing in nothing!
The distractions are few -
You bring us to focus solely on You.

For Your blessing, it keeps us,
and it keeps us from knowing
what You suffered for our every day.
And Your blessing, it keeps us -
it keeps us showing
Your love and Your saving grace.

©2005 Alyssa Kate Grinstead

04 August 2005

Rain, Chemicals, TMNT and Napoleon

I woke up at nine o' clock this morning and laid in bed for three hours listening to the rain (because I had nothing urgent to be doing). It's pretty rare that you wake up to rain in Colorado, although I am sure that if you lived somewhere like Seattle, it would be a more common occurrence... If I lived in Seattle, I would never get anything done because I would just lie in bed all day listening to the rain.

When I finally did get up, I proceeded to try to finish cleaning the house (which I do every other week). The chemicals were really strong today because the air is muggy so it holds more chemically stuff. I managed to get everything done but the showers before I ran out of cleaning supplies, which I have to go out and get tomorrow to finish the cleaning process.

Tonight, however, I actually left the house (I know, *gasp*!) and went to a barbecue to welcome the new leader for the college group here at my parents' church. He's a pretty cool guy... totally not what I expected, but that's cool. The burgers were excellent, as were the movie choices...

Movie #1: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Original Movie. Nice. Classic.

Movie #2: Napoleon Dynamite. It's been quite a while since I last saw this, so it was great. Skills galore. My brother watched it last night, too... and he was quite amusing because he got the biggest kick out of it. Go figure. :)

All in all, it was fun, despite the fact that I really don't fit in very well with the college group here anymore. It's kind of sad, but it really just makes me want to be in Fort Collins even more.

I am currently listening to a shuffle on my computer because I'm too lazy to get up and put in a CD.

My mom is doing her continuing education (for her pharmacy license) and she's studying some sleep disorder which she claims is her diagnosis for what I have (and she's usually right). It's a condition where your sleep cycle actually shifts 3-6 hours periodically for no apparent reason, causing you to be extra-sleepy when you are awake, even if you sleep well during your shifted sleep cycle... Yeah, it definitely sounds like whatever I've got. I'm so ready to have something to force me out of bed (like classes to go to) so that I can hopefully shift back and not be so tired anymore.

That would be awesome...

Anyway... I get to go shopping tomorrow, clean showers, go to the rec center, clean up and go catch up with the girls at dinner, which I'm stoked about. The opportunity to have (almost) everyone together is exciting.

14 days and I will be in Fort Collins again... :)

Mood: Burnt Out Listening to: Bebo Norman, Myself When I Am Real
Reading: C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce

02 August 2005

Just Another Tuesday...

I spent part of yesterday afternoon at the rec center with my brother running on a treadmill and swimming laps... exercise is always good once you get there, but it takes such an effort to get me there... :)

And then I had accountability with Laura, who I finally saw for the first and only time in a week. We had to go B&N because, alas, our spot at Borders is closed for remodelling... sad day.

Last night, I finished the NT survey that I've been working through this summer and, tonight, I'm going to start on some other stuff that I've been wanting to get to all summer, so I'm excited about that...

John and I went to TNL tonight and heard a guy talk about the Kingdom of God ('cause he's been a missionary all over the world), which was cool. We listened to Caedmon's Call's "Share the Well" on the way there, so we were kind of in the mood for it. It's such a fun, moving, and convicting CD... all in one. Good stuff. We went to Chili's after and had chips 'n' queso. Mmm...

In other news... (not too exciting tonight and, for that, I'm sorry) my small group from high school is getting together on Friday (which is totally awesome... I haven't seen everyone since Christmas). We're dressing "up" and going downtown for dinner before coming back to Hannah's apartment for a gabfest... 'cause we do that, you know... TALK!

That actually used to be our problem... which is why we started meeting every week instead of every other. We would talk so much that we wouldn't get to the lesson part of the night... so we would talk the whole time every other week and actually learn something the weeks in between. Such great times...

Things are going okay here, although I'm definitely ready to be back in the Fort. I'm having to restrain myself from packing now because I really want to do it and do it better than I did last year. But that will be difficult to do, considering last year I was working full time and packing in the middle of the night and this year I am doing, well... nothing. :)

Oh... for anyone who has been wondering what those "things" are at the top of the page... they're butterflies and I'm not sure if I'm going to keep them yet or not, so...

I'm going to go now... and do stuff I should have done a lot earlier on today. 'Cause that is usually a good idea. 'Night.

Mood: Anticipatory Listening to: Caedmon's Call, Share the Well
Reading: C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce [I'm on a C.S. Lewis kick currently...]