"When our depravity meets His divinity it is a beautiful collision."

Not a few Christians live in a state of unbroken anxiety, and others fret and fume terribly. To be perfectly at peace amid the hurly-burly of daily life is a secret worth knowing. What is the use of worrying? It never made anybody strong; never helped anybody to do God's will; never made a way of escape for anyone out of perplexity. Worry spoils lives which would otherwise be useful and beautiful. Restlessness, anxiety, and care are absolutely forbidden by our Lord, who said: "Take no thought," that is, no anxious thought, "saying what shall we eat, or what shall we drink, or wherewithal shall we be clothed?" He does not mean that we are not to take forethought and that our life is to be without plan or method; but that we are not to worry about these things. People know you live in the realm of anxious care by the lines on your face, the tones of your voice, the minor key in your life, and the lack of joy in your spirit. Scale the heights of a life abandoned to God, then you will look down on the clouds beneath your feet.
[[Rev. Darlow Sargeant]]

The last few days, I have been overcome with worry for different things. For what reason I allow myself to succumb to my emotions, I do not yet know, though I suspect it may have something to do with my inability to let myself rest, be happy or remain at peace for any extended amount of time.

And yet, Christ tells us to "take no thought" at what we need; how little we should worry about our basest of needs, much less those things that we want!

But it is still all too simple to get caught up in my to-do list with my (seemingly) endless pile of extended assignments and upcoming exams and projects and regular deadlines. It is too simple to get frustrated when a computer program doesn't work quite the way I want it to and when I don't have the right fonts to be able to gauge correctly just what it is that needs to be fixed and finished.

This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
"In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it.
[[Isaiah 30:15]]

I am being called to rest, to slow down in certain areas of my life, but it is almost as though I will "have none of it".

It is just that I have yet to translate where to draw the line with my schoolwork. I am to be diligent at minimum, but I have yet to find a balancing point on that... To be honest, I have yet to be diligent with anything more than deadlines.

I'm facing a tough week academically, especially after having missed four days last week, but my prayer is that what I have to do will not consume me. I merely need to understand that things need to get done and then get them done (which is normally the harder part).

The urge to be done with school continues to arise. I'm so close, but I still have so much to do!

And, at the same time, there are some things that have come up in the last few days that I need to take the time to address and address thoroughly (instead of just pushing them out of my mind, like I usually do).

I'm learning to let go, to lean on what I know is true... Even when my mind still struggles with trusting the plans that God has for me. Every day seems to be a learning curve these days.

This is a season of preparation.

"For what?" you may ask. I don't know. And that's scary.

But I'm laying my fears at His feet, though it might take a while.

I await the day when I fear no more, when there are no more residuals from past experiences that threaten my mind's ability to enjoy what my Father has given me... My prayer is that I would live freely in the love and grace that Christ has so beautifully provided for me.

Love so incredible to know it's never gonna go, never gonna go.
Love too impossible and true for anyone but You, for anyone but You.

I think I'm on the brink of something large.
Maybe like the breaking of a dawn.
Or maybe like a match being lit, or the sinking of a ship, letting go gives a better grip.

I'm finding everything I'll ever need by giving up, gaining everything.
Falling for You for eternity, right here at Your feet, where I want to be.
I am Yours.

Love so indelible to know You're never gonna go, You're never gonna go.
Love too unthinkable and true for anyone but You, for anyone but You.

I'm finding everything I'll ever need by giving up, gaining everything.
Falling for You for eternity, right here at Your feet, where I want to be.
I am Yours.

Forever and ever and ever and ever and...
[["Foreverandever Etc..." | ©2005 David Crowder, Jack Parker, Mike Dodson]]

Mood: Ready for bed Listening to: David Crowder Band, A Collision
Reading: Cowman, Streams in the Desert