What stands in the way

Growing more uneasy with every question asked
It seems You're jealous of my interests
and the graven things I've cast
Waking resolutions of twenty years or more
that I would disallow golden cows
my favorite anymore

Your wishes set in stone
I broke the first of ten
I cleared this temple out
Come take your place again

There is only You
There is only You

Tiptoe from an awkward scene, not fooling anyone
Am I dumb enough to kneel with my accusers or brave enough to run?
Petty daggers bounce weakly off my back
I'm leaving breathless gods and secrets in my track

Your wishes set in stone
I broke the first of ten
I cleared this temple out
Come take Your place again

There is only You
There is only You
Believe me
There is only You
There is only You

To a thousand generations of faithful men
[["There is Only You," Smalltown Poets]]

What stands in the way of my ability to get to the point where this is true in my life - that there is only Christ and Christ alone that sits upon the throne of my heart?

I get so distracted by every little thing, be it class or homework or work or crocheting a blanket or not feeling well at all, that I so easily take my eyes off of the One who should be in charge and in control of everything. How do we get to the point where the things we do lose their joy because we neglect to praise the One who gives them to us to do?

A few weeks ago at the Rock, Brandon Pullen spoke of keeping things in circles that are "just for me." Unfortunately, as a control freak, I have so many of these areas. Some, of course, are more obvious, but others are subtle, ranging from something as simple as getting ready in the morning to something as complex as finding time to get all of my work done.

How do we include Christ in those things? On the surface level, He's always aware of what we're doing, so that remains the easy part... But how do we include Him? How do we let Him in on everything we do, from the everyday and mundane to the most exciting parts of life? It's like we keep Him on the sidelines - and ignoring someone is never a good thing.

But I must admit that I readily welcome Christ into some areas of my life while ignoring His presence in others.

What honestly stands in the way? And what results from that?

Is that why I am incapable of getting things done when I should? Is that why I am incapable of finding motivation and joy in the everyday, mundane things? Is that why I am incapable to just let music be a part of my life? Is that why I find it so difficult to understand the living out of the Great Commission? Is that why I am incapable of just letting things go?

Is that why I constantly feel as though I have failed in almost every aspect of life?

Certainly, things are constantly changing, so there is always something new to surrender to Christ's lordship (and especially lately, when everything seems to be changing), but shouldn't there be a way to adapt that surrender in any situation?

Perhaps I'll fill you in on the details of why this is all so important today (of all days) later but, for now, I think I need simply to go and sit at my Savior's feet. He's waiting for me.

Mood: Defeated Listening to: Jennifer Knapp, Kansas
Reading: Ecclesiastes, Isaiah and Acts