Forced into Stillness

"Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth." [[Psalm 46:10]]

Last Thursday, Sept. 29, I came back from the Plaza frustrated and fully set on defending Christ; I felt I was personally responsible for defending Christ! Nevermind that He doesn't need me to defend Him! Nevermind that He will be exalted!

I sat down and opened my Bible, seeking to calm myself because I knew I was too worked up to accomplish much of anything. At first, I tried to read from where I was in Joshua, but couldn't concentrate. I flipped to the Psalms instead, landing on Psalm 46. I started reading and received a spiritual 2x4 to the head.

He will be exalted! I do not need to defend Him! He already has the victory!

That lesson learned, I headed into this past week with deadlines and tasks overwhelming my mental capacities. While in class Monday morning, I started feeling nauseous and a tension in my stomach muscles.

Monday night, the tension turned to sharp pains that lasted through Wednesday, when I finally went to the clinic and they gave me something to take away the nausea.

When I went back Thursday, they did some tests, thinking it was probably an E. coli infection, but not ruling out another type of bacterial infection.

Needless to say, I haven't been to a class since Monday. For most of the week I haven't been able to do much more than lie down. No reading, no writing, no walking upright without someone next to me to make sure I didn't fall over...

It hasn't been fun. I hate being sick. I hate being bored. I hate depending on other people.

But I've had to just "cease striving" and let God be God... there has been absolutely nothing I can do but try and get nutrients into my system (which I'm actually really bad about - just ask Chris). I have never known such pain and I am so grateful that this is just an infection and not something I have to deal with every day. I am so blessed to be regularly healthy.

I felt normal last night for a few hours, which was wonderful. I got to enjoy some good food and fellowship (after a week of non-coherence) with the SV small group.

Felt somewhat icky this morning, but that seems to have passed for the most part - just in time for Chris, Stephen, Dave, and Tyler to come home sick from attempting the BeauJo's Challenge (12-14 lbs of pizza between two people in one hour's time).

I went back to the clinic this afternoon (for the third time in three days). They ruled out E. coli and gave me an anti-biotic while they wait to see if anything else develops. They're still banking on a bacterial infection.

I really want to go out and get a copy of the new David Crowder Band CD because it's amazing, but my financial situation is not-so-good right now and I have to figure that out (especially after having paid for medicine this week).

Mom and Dad are coming up tomorrow night (most likely) and I'm excited to see them. It's been five weeks since I was last home and I'm really starting to miss my family. I'm going to try to get home next weekend, which should be good.

Well... I should make my way back to the dorm to see if the boys are back from their gorging festival. See if they need anything, you know?

That's all for now... hopefully, this will be updated more regularly. :)

And for all who have yet to hear Laura's announcement, you should visit her blog:
http://asoulsurrendered.blogspot.com

Mood: Spent Listening to: David Crowder Band, A Collision
Reading: Psalm 107