14 May 2006

Stretching

There are some things that never get easier. To be honest, I'm beginning to wonder if they just become harder.

In so many ways, I wish this season could be different, but I know it is as it is for a reason and, so, I look forward to it and battle it all at the same time.

But I can't live like this!

I can't just turn off my emotions, either. They taint everything, changing my perspective, causing it to loom about one specific area of my life.

Maybe it just needs to be dealt with, though. Maybe I just need to get it out of my system.

I wish I knew, but I don't.

Right now, I'm feeling completely severed from everything - how can I change that?

How can I be connected and yet removed, and content yet purposeful?

I feel as though I could spend all of my energy on attempts to be content, but there is so much more for me than that! But, in my attempts to be purposeful, will I be able to be content?

I like doing one thing at a time and this is definitely not that season.

If you think about it, pray for me. Pray I get a job so that I can take my mind off of other things for at least 8 hours a day. That would be nice.

Mood: Exhausted, broken LIstening to: My blind hitting my windowsill
Reading: Ezekiel 12

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