The past few weeks...

...Have been absolutely insane. There is so much going on here that I can barely keep up with it, much less write about it.

Spring break was the week before last and then, last week, Laura came up to stay with me for the week. Easter was amazing. My schedule is picking up again due to my next round of midterms and projects and I'm not feeling well because of a minor accident I was involved in on Sunday.

So, between knocking things off of my to-do list and falling asleep at random times over my schoolwork, I have actually been getting stuff done, which is amazing in and of itself. I've also been trying to actually see people and not just sequester myself, which is what I am being tempted to do right now.

Anyway, it might be a while before I actually write about everything that has been going on, but it will happen. I even have pictures! :)

Something big is about to happen. I can feel it. Until then, God has me placed firmly in His hands and I have nothing to fear. Amen to that.

Mood: Broken Listening to: Patrick Meese, I Don't Buy It
Reading: Outlines for my history quiz tomorrow

Happy Easter - He is risen, indeed!

The desert calm and cold
In the quiet of the evening
These things we have been told
By the angels o’er us, singing

They say that the One has come
And that is what has brought us here
To the entry of this stable
Looking at the One they say

Will carry our every burden
Strip the load off of our backs
Take the death out of our dying
And give us everything we lack
The One they say
Will deliver us from all that holds us down
But can a baby carry a burden
When He has yet to walk around?

The hilltop dark and stormy
In the shadows of the afternoon
He says that it is finished
And the earth will tremble soon

They say that He is the One to come
To take away the death of sin
He said He came to give us life
And said that His must end

To carry our every burden
Strip the load off of our backs
Take the death out of our dying
And give us everything we lack
The world’s deliverance
Was broken, bruised and bled
But can one man carry every burden
When He lies before us, dead?

The morning dawning bright
Above the tears of men
His words now stand forgotten
“I will rise again”

A woman stands before the tomb
Her heart begins to rend
But stopped by angel voices,
She begins to understand

To carry our every burden
Strip the load off of our backs
Take the death out of our dying
And give us everything we lack
To be the world’s deliverance
He had to follow His Father’s plan-
He was broken, bruised and bled
For victory – fully God and fully man.

He will carry our every burden
Strip the load off of our backs
Take the death out of our dying
And give us everything we lack
He is the world’s deliverance
For the tomb is empty where He lay
Only Christ can carry our burden-
He is the only Way.

©2005 Alyssa Kate Grinstead

What a weird week...

...That's all I really need to let you know. 'Night.

Enough

I just can’t let it be:
I’m forgiven, but I can’t forgive me.
My past is over: long and gone,
But I still hold on (and on).

I know Your grace is enough,
But mine will never measure up,
‘cause when I attempt to forgive and forget,
I can never forget like You.

You’ve forgotten all of my mistakes,
Yet I only seem to hide them away.
Covered in dust, memories, and years,
Their presence still I fear.

I know Your grace is enough,
But mine will never measure up,
'cause when I attempt to forgive and forget,
I can never forget like You.

Teach me to forgive me;
Teach me to understand Your grace;
Teach me that I can let it be if I learn from my mistakes.

Your grace is more than enough,
And mine might never measure up,
But when I attempt to forgive and forget,
I can only hope to be like You.

You’re just beyond my understanding,
But You’re not quite out of view,
‘cause one day I’m hoping I’ll just let it be
so I can forget like You.

I want to forget like You.

©2002 Alyssa Kate Grinstead

If you haven't guessed yet...

...It's song week on my blog. :)

Since Laura's here, I really don't have the time to sit down and write throughout the day, but I decided to dig through my song folder and put stuff up, so... yeah.

Have a great week! He is risen indeed!

Mood: Really tired Listening to: Dishwalla, Dishwalla Reading: D.H. Lawrence, Sons and Lovers

As Only You Know How

Carry me now, Lord;
This burden is on my back.
Take it now, Lord;
I place it in Your hands.

Comfort me now, Lord;
The pain is too much to bear.
Bring me peace, Lord,
For I reek of despair.

Carry me and comfort me,
As only You know how.
Love me and hold me;
Lord, I need You now.

Love me now, Lord;
I feel so very alone.
Fill my heart, Lord;
Make it Your home.

Hold me now, Lord;
I need You by my side.
Surround me now, Lord;
Dwell deep inside.

You carry me and You comfort me,
As only You know how.
You Love me and You hold me;
Lord, You meet me now.

You meet me now as only You know how.

©2001 Alyssa Kate Grinstead

We Will Know Then

What can be said when words are gone?
When the sun has set on poetry and written song?
What can be sung when melody fades?
When the moon has risen and tune floats away?

What can be felt when touch is lost?
When fingertips fail to fall on fragile frost?
What can be seen when eyes go blind?
When the sun no longer bestows on us its light?

Can we stand in awestruck silence with no noise to aid our praise?
Can we kneel within Your presence with no words to share our days?

When there is nothing left to compare You to, will we still know what to do?

Then, we will praise You.
Then, we will finally know what You meant when You said we were to worship.

Then, we will bow down.
Then, we will fail with our words at each breath - not having a thought in our heads.

But we will know then.

©2004 Alyssa Kate Grinstead

All ready to go!

I am all packed up and ready to pack up my car. Church is at 6pm and then I'm hitting the road to hit home. I'm still listening to Format (man, they're good). Made some quesadillas to feed the hungry hordes around here.

Anyway... no updates for the week. I'm not taking my computer home and I'm not going to bother while I'm on the road with my parents. I'll take pictures, though. :)

Have an amazing Spring Break (or week before)!

Again... it's 4am.

I've been at Steph's house all night. Then, I remembered that I gave my keys to Chelsea so she could drive home and... the front desk is closed and my roommate is gone so... Just a long night, I guess.

A lot of fun, though. It's so freeing to do something like that when you have nothing due for a whole week.

And I just started a movie 'cause I got a second wind.

I could really use some more sleep. :) 'Night.

Finally!

I'm done! Spring break can begin. I officially have nothing due for a whole stinking week. I can clean my room and hang out with people and not care about what the heck tomorrow is going to bring with it. Yay!

Now I just have to figure out what I'm doing for dinner... Going away now. Laters!

Almost There...

My law exam starts in little less than an hour and then I'm finally done - everyone else is already!

My roommate left me sometime in the last half hour or so, so... I'm all alone now.

Anyway... I'm ready for a break. :)

Mood: Ready to be done Listening to: Format, Interventions & Lullabies Reading: Notecards

So...

...Studying is definitely not getting done. I still have to finish reading my last chapter for Law and then I have to study through and learn my lecture notes.

It's a good thing that this information is interesting and that I actually pay attention in class and understand the concepts. Yeah... definitely. :)

Anyway... back to procrastinating. I love the fact that this exam is all I have tomorrow and I can sleep in until whenever 'cause the exam is at 2pm.

Tomorrow will be a great day. After 3pm, I will be free!

'Night.

Mood: Distracted Listening to: Monarch, The Grandeur that was Rome
Reading: Chapter on Copyright Law

The Longest Week Ever...

...Is officially now. It's like finals week - it's so long!

I have my Sociology exam in about an hour and my Law exam tomorrow afternoon... I'm so sick of studying (something I have grown rather accustomed to not doing). Anyway... today will be long. Tomorrow will be short after 3pm.

I really want 3pm to come around tomorrow, but I also need to study. Hm... conflict of interest.

Off to cram. :) Laters.

Mood: Sleep-deprived Listening to: Morning sounds Reading: Lecture notes

Procrastination (I blame Chelsea)

TEN random things about me:
1. I wear blue slippers a lot
2. I do not go by my first name
3. I actually get along with my brother
4. I have really small hands
5. My pinky finger is funny when I give high fives
6. I think high fives are lame
7. I'm a glutton for stupidity
8. I'm supposed to be writing a paper right now
9. I want to see James Taylor in concert
10. I am 20 years old and have yet to go on a date

NINE places I've visited:
1. Indiana
2. Guatemala
3. England
4. France
5. The Netherlands
6. Germany
7. Austria
8. The Czech Republic
9. Hawaii

EIGHT things I want to do before I die:
1. Go on a date
2. Get married
3. Have kids
4. Go to Italy
5. Take a big risk
6. Finish school
7. Record a full album of original music
8. Have grandkids

SEVEN ways to win my heart:
1. Pursue Christ, first and foremost
2. Ask my dad's permission
3. Pass the examination given by my girls
4. Play with little kids
5. Sing (you don't even have to be good)
6. Play with my hands
7. Have blue eyes

SIX things I believe in:
1. The power of the Cross
2. Forgiveness and Grace
3. New life
4. Love and Friendship
5. God's sovereignty
6. The inerrancy of God's Word

FIVE things I'm afraid of:
1. Taking risks
2. Blood on the outside (and bones)
3. Failure
4. Losing the people I love
5. Living without purpose

FOUR of my favorite items in my bedroom:
1. My pillows
2. My books
3. My iPod
4. Mr. Elephant

THREE things I do every day:
1. Dig into God's Word
2. Wake up
3. Speak

TWO things I am trying to do right now:
1. Write my paper for Lit class
2. Appreciate Format in all their glory

ONE person I want to see right now:
1. Laura

Mood: Ornery Listening to: Format, Interventions & Lullabies Reading: Chelsea's Open Diary

And once again...

...I can be found in my JT211 lab class. Fun! :)

We're learning how to optimize today, which I learned how to do when I was... 11? Yeah... this class is definitely a great use of my time.

So much has been happening around here - and I've actually managed to squeeze in some studying while hanging out with the guys (so what if it's really late at night?)

I have so much to do, but it'll get done... slowly. I have a paper due tomorrow on The Glass Menagerie. I thought it was going to be some big complex paper on social theory and analysis (like our last paper), but it's just an analysis of consequences of action (not difficult to organize or write).

Then, I have exams Thursday and Friday and a quiz tomorrow. This is definitely going to be a fun week (right) and will, hopefully, not go faster than I can work.

However, if I hang out with the guys (as I tend to do), time seems to fly faster and I get even less work done than I would be otherwise. Crazy stuff, I tell you.

But I can do it through Him who gives me strength.

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." [[2 Cor 4:8-9]]

Psalm 32

Mood: Bored Listening to: Bebo Norman, Big Blue Sky Reading: Nothing

When I think about the last few days...

...Words fail me. That's one reason it has taken so long to actually sit and write anything down.

I have experienced such a gamut of emotions lately that I'm surprised I'm still functioning.

But that is okay... God is still supreme and sovereign over my life and I can rest in that.

And, so, I'm going to. :)

'Night.

Once in a while...

...A day comes along where things aren't going so well, and then, *BAM*, they are!

Classes this morning were okay... they're always interesting, but I was so tired (even though I got more sleep last night than I have been getting because I went to bed shortly after 11pm)!

But, I had a good afternoon, got some work done (saw hope in my study situation with next week, praise God!), talked to Mom and John (who's coming to visit this weekend), took a nap, and found out that we managed an A on our media effects panel (barely, but I'll take what I can get!). And the sun came out and made the world pretty and warm again! Yay!

So... I'm in a much better mood and I'm going to work on reading over the next hour... if I can get done what I want to get done, I'll be in great shape for tomorrow and in even better shape for next week ('cause it'll cut out extraneous readings for the week). And, I'm listening to Plumb... who wouldn't be in a good mood? :)

Mood:Joyful Listening to: Plumb, The Best of Plumb
Reading: "The Empire Strikes" (Bagdikian), "Democracy and the Media" (Chomsky),
"The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life" (Goffman)

Rise Up, My Child

Fallen child of God, bound by ropes of shame-
Unable to find peace, unable to seek My name.
Fallen child of God, held back by deep regret-
Unable to accept My freedom, unable to forget.

Rise up, My child, and see the love I have for you.
Let Me set you free - it’s what I died to do.
Rise up, My child, and know you’re perfect and forgiven in My sight.
Rise up, My child - your life was always worth Mine.

Fallen child of God, rising from your chains-
Knowing you’ve been bought, knowing you must change.
Fallen child of God, emerging from your sin-
Knowing I’ve forgiven every trace within.

Rise up, My child, and see the love I have for you.
Let Me set you free - it’s what I died to do.
Rise up, My child, and know you’re perfect and forgiven in My sight.
Rise up, My child - your life was always worth Mine.
Your life, was always worth Mine…

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now I’m found; was blind, but now I see.

Rise up, My child…

©2003 Alyssa Kate Grinstead

Mighty is the Power of the Cross

Our message tonight at college group was John 8:1-11... the story of Jesus' encounter with an adultress and His freeing her from condemnation - such a beautiful portrait of grace.

But the idea of hidden things being exposed to the light which shows the need of grace was really convicting. There is a situation that I have been dealing with for almost six years now and I keep working through different parts of it... tonight, I recognized my need to forgive myself for the role that I played and to seek forgiveness from the only One who can forgive: my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

My body is on permanent vibrate due to exhaustion, but it has brought me to a point of awareness that surpasses most things that I have ever encountered. God uses brokenness to bring healing - Alleluia!

So, now I'm going to process through some of this... and get some sleep. 'Night.

Mood: Dulled Listening to: "Take My Life" (Traditional Hymn) Reading: Romans 12

Why am I up so early?

Good question... I have class at 10am and it's 7:46.

I told Nick I'd have breakfast with him.

And, now, I remember the reasons I don't eat breakfast:
1) It makes me sick.
2) It jumpstarts my metabolism - I'll be hungry all day.
3) It is just too much work!

Anyway, I'm going to throw on a sweatshirt and brush my teeth... Good morning!

The Heavens are Telling of the Glory of God...

What a morning! I am so exhuasted... by my standards, I went to bed early (12:30), after reading Marx in comic form (actually, very interesting).

Last night was... wow... it was worship. We did five songs, a ton of Scripture, and a lot of heartfelt prayer. It took almost an hour and half, but it didn't seem like it - time just stands till at the feet of Christ!

Prayer at Danforth was something I desperately needed this morning, even I'm tired from waking up an hour earlier than normal. To come in adoration and supplication before the day begins is so humbling... it places everything in the right perspective. Prayer has so much power.

I spent a lot of my Sociology class pouring over my Bible, looking for promises on which I can stand (this is why I don't normally take my Bible - I would never pay attention in class).

Later this morning, I received my media effects grade - I got an A on my exam (and I'm ranked #1 in the class - glory to God!). God is totally affirming the direction of my schooling, and that is such a blessing.

It's amazing how things fall into place when your priorities are in order - God is so good. Alleluia!

We got out of class really early (15 minutes or so), so I had a half an hour before class. I turned on my iPod and listened to downhere's self-titled album and walked around campus for a while.

There is nothing like seeing the mountains for the first time on a new day, while listening to "Great Are You," by downhere - it is a stunning combination.

And "Calmer of the Storm"... how appropriate! I'm just absolutely speechless at the past few months and what I've been learning.

Yesterday, I just sat at the feet of my Maker - today I must work for His glory, as much as I just want to sit at His feet and learn.

Now, I face the rest of the day - recognizing my LORD and Savior and knowing that He is sufficient for me...

I can rest fully in His promises.

Mood: Worshipful Listening to: downhere, downhere Reading: FT Email