Just a Little Smoother in His Hand

The past few weeks have been quite a process, but a good one.

I have been able to come home and enjoy being home; I have been steadily growing; I have been sorting out what became so jumbled toward the end of the semester; I am finding rest; I am being prepared for leadership this fall in a way that God has never prepared me before; I am learning to be content in each moment.

I am being made smoother day-by-day - Christ is working in me and ironing out my wrinkles while preparing me for the new ones He will reveal in the coming seasons.

And I am excited - for life here, for life in Fort Collins this fall, for being a servant devoted to His work, for music, for writing, for all that He has given to me.

I am learning to be grateful, despite the circumstances.

I am learning not to worry about what is beyond my control.

I am learning to lean like never before.

And I am learning how much I need self-discipline.

Tozer's "The Prayer of a Minor Prophet" has been a major point of conviction for me over the past few days.

"Let me not waste my days puttering around the house. ... Deliver me from overeating and late sleeping. Teach me self discipline that I may be a good soldier of Jesus Christ."

Coupled with Psalm 119, which I am spending time memorizing and meditating upon, I have been recognizing how little control I truly have over what I do with my days, over what I do out of obedience.

"You have laid down precepts that are to be fully obeyed.
Oh, that my ways were steadfast in obeying Your decrees!
Then I would not be put to shame when I consider all Your commands.
I will praise You with an upright heart as I learn Your righteous laws.
I will obey Your decrees; do not utterly forsake me."
[[Psalm 119:4-8]]

"By obeying one learns to obey." [[George MacDonald]]

I keep praying that I would be forced into diligence - that I would not waste my days "puttering" about the house.

I am here to rest, but not to be utterly useless. Oh, that my ways were steadfast in obedience!

But at the end of the day, I can simply pray that I am a changed child - that I am "just a little smoother" in His hand.

Praise be to the God that is determined to smooth our wrinkles.

Mood: Expectant Listening to: Nichole Nordeman, Wide Eyed
Reading: A.W. Tozer, "We Need Sanctified Thinkers"