13 August 2005

3:21:40am and counting...

Still up... I spent time reading and looking up words and such... and then I spent time packing 'cause there's no time like the middle of the night to pack up random things like skirts and sweatshirts and the like.

It's starting to hit me that I only have until Wednesday to get things finished up here at home... and I have jury duty on Monday at 8am. Unlike the jurors after me in the numbers, I was not excused before I had to show.

So... I have to show up and see if they need me and for how long.

And I need boxes.

My dentist appointment got moved to Tuesday because the doctor was sick.

The A/C is fixed 'cause they installed a new unit. It's nice and frigid in our house now. :)

Yes, those were random thoughts... it happens sometimes.

I spent some time in the hot tub tonight, looking at the sky as the sunlight faded over the mountains and the stars started to appear. It's crazy that we take the night sky for granted... it's so beautiful.

Anyway... I got to thinking (once again) about all the things I'm going back to in Fort Collins. It's overwhelming at times to think that I even have something to go back to (as opposed to last year). I am so incredibly blessed at the same time that I am so incredibly terrified of what God has in store for me over this next semester (and, having lived through last semester, I think it's somewhat justified to be scared).

Heck... I'm even worried about how He's going to manage the next week when I'm still not sleeping well.

My prayer journal is filling up again, which is still really weird for me... I started this one at the beginning of July and I'm already a sixth of the way through it. In my old one, the first two and a half years filled up the first half and February through June of this past year (5 months) made up the content of the last half.

It's amazing how habits and compulsions can change so drastically over time. I'm beginning to wonder if my journal will last me through this semester... I've written so much while I've been home and I write so much more while at school, 'cause so much more happens at school.

A lot of things are changing here at home, though - we have a new college pastor, John's leaving for college soon, my friends are getting engaged and married and having children...

And yet, at the end of the day, I so often feel as though I'm still seven years old on our first night in this house, or as though I'm thirteen and still clasping onto a doll (that my grandparents gave me), praying for my grandpa every night before he finally went home to glory...

So much changes, but so much stays the same.

The sun is going to rise in only a few hours, as it has done for the past 20 years... and I will, hopefully, be sleeping soundly. 'Night.

Mood: Contemplative Listening to: The Dandy Warhols, Welcome to the Monkey House
Reading: C.S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

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